The trouble with everything

Friday, October 13, 2006

Fuck Fox News

There used to be a website called "Fuckedcompany.com" -- it should be reworked as "Fuckedcountry.com" in honour of the current sad state of the USA.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Grasslands Survival Wisdom






Beware the Weetabixabeast, my son!

A motley herd of weetabixabeasts rolls lazily across a cultivated field. This omnivorous arch-enemy of the wheat farmer slowly, but relentlessly, devours everything in its path. Woe betide the hapless picnicker who falls asleep in an open field, unwary of the weetabixabeast's stealthy approach!

Weetabixabeasts begin life as chigger-sized clusters of cells hidden in the forest duff, making only occasional forays beyond the woody margins. By the fall, however, they are brazenly big and openly stalk the grasslands for carrion and slow-moving, prey.

Helplessly attracted to milk, weetabixabeasts are easily lured into cowbarns by canny farmers. In those confined spaces, the weetabixabeast is quickly corralled and slaughtered. Their processed carcasses are welcome feedstock for the breakfast food industry.